The 3 Reasons Why the ‘Pirates’ Franchise Needs to End

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“…Because dead men tell no tales…”

Warning: Spoilers for Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales ahead

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales hit the silver screen last weekend and let’s just say… it wasn’t the best movie this year. The latest swashbuckling installment continued the trend of series like Transformers and Resident Evil—dried up formulas.

Instead of a typical review, I’ll mix things up and tell you the three reasons why Disney’s Pirates series needs to end. Let me know what you think and tell me what you thought about the film.

The original trilogy was too good

The masterpiece that started it all. Image via nypl.org

The first three films in the franchise were a breath of fresh air. Gore Verbinski’s  trilogy followed a tight-knit plot featuring the three musketeers: Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp), Will Turner (Orlando Bloom), and Elizabeth Swan (Keira Knightley). From getting the treasure of Cortes in Curse of the Black Pearl to rescuing Jack from Davy Jones’ locker, the first three movies were gold.

However, Stranger Tides saw the first film without Verbinski, Bloom, or Knightley, and the franchise hasn’t been the same since. Although they appear in Dead Men Tell No Tales, they have mediocre roles. Will twiddles his thumbs while he waits for his son, Henry, to find Poseidon’s Trident and lift the Davy Jones Curse. Can we scream useless any louder?

Jack Sparrow gets worst

I made the same expression while watching. Photo via standard.co.uk

I’m all for a splash of comedy. Marvel hits the nail on the head with humor. Jack Sparrow added that to Pirates, but it’s getting old. Ancient. Matter of fact…

Jack is like someone’s embarrassing uncle who shows up places drunk and confused. 

The whole “drunken pirate” act is working my nerve. It was funny in Curse of the Black Pearl and Dead Man’s Chest, but we get it. Can we quit the routine already? It’s a bit childish.

Also, the story focuses on other characters more than Jack. Isn’t he supposed to be the main focus? I understand this is how the Pirates movies are, but I feel like it downplayed Jack’s strengths. There wasn’t a great sword fight, like the duel with Will, and Henry Turner got a good dose of the spotlight. We need to focus on Jack. His reputation in the movie makes him sound greater than his clown-like behavior.

Lack of Action

What about the big guns? Image via comicbook.com

Previous films in the franchise were stunning. Sword fights, long journeys at sea, and long canon battles made the Pirates franchise what it was, an action movie. I’ll always visualize the swashbuckling duel between Jack and Barbossa.

Meanwhile, in Dead Men Tell No Tales, there’s not a single action sequence I vividly remember. Jack didn’t swordfight anyone, even though he had a short and unimpressive scuffle with Salazar.

I’m unsure about the next Pirates film. There is a post-credit cutscene, but this film didn’t follow the On Stranger Tides cutscene, so who knows where Disney will take the plot. For now, my feelings for Pirates remain unexcited.

Rating: 6/10

For a more in-depth review, join me on Tuesday, May 30 on Facebook Live.  


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